ha

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080721/od_nm/bugs_odd_dc;_ylt=At51xfLZ3JaKRlniHA03beCs0NUE

cooties

While i was supposed to be reading The Masterpiece by Emile Zola, http://blogs.princeton.edu/wri152-3/f05/jcfields/cezanne_and_zolas_the_masterpiece.html
i was actually watching this movie instead.
http://www.badmovies.org/othermovies/nakedlunch/ watching this movie and then seeing bugs had me weirded out tremendously. well, just watching this movie had me weirded out tremendously, but catching sight of nasty unknown bugs while watching it weirded me out, and also made me pee a little.

I've been trying to figure out what this little tasty is, but i am not having any luck identifying it. needless to say, i now think that my basement is the breeding ground for a new species of evil-blood-sucking-bug-of-death. whatever it is, its given me a serious case of the creeping icks, and i want them to die horrible deaths. i thought it kind of looked tick-ish, but as you can see, its kind of huge, so my professional opinion is that i have some sort of mutant bug populating my basement, the thought of which make me want to scrub my skin off and burn my house down.
so, they are either here to build their forces up until they can attack and kill us, enabling them to commandeer the microwave so they can make microwave popcorn, or, they had a mad hankering to play cootie. either way, i'm officially creeped out.

rock on!

Your DJ Name Is:

DJ Midnight Nerd

What's" Your DJ Name?

happily i am done with my first set of accelerated summer classes. now for a relaxing 6 days off and then back to the grind. maybe i should have the professors call me DJ Midnight Nerd just to make things interesting..

smack down

ok, so i am currently supposed to be writing a paper about the yanomamo (http://www.indian-cultures.com/Cultures/yanomamo.html) that is due tomorrow. crap attack! instead i have taken a nap, eaten some most delicious cherry fudge ice cream, and watched paula deen whip up some tasty down home cooking. My paper is supposed to make connections to the wild west and buffalo bill, i haven't quite figured out the connection, though i guess it would help if i had read the course material. whoops! guess i should maybe get to it, um, after i cook lunch, re-grout the bathroom tiles, and construct a statue which moderately resembles the virgin mary out of nothing but a cardboard box and dryer lint. then, perhaps i will be sufficiently motivated to finish my sweet sweet paper of love and indigenous nudity, ohhh yeah.

soul eating 101

with 2 accelerated summer classes currently eating my soul, i believe i shall never again see the dank dungeon that once was my love, my life, my basement. alas. what is a moderately obsessive compulsive girl such as myself to do? apparently the answer to this tremendously important query is to have reoccurring dreams of cleaning the basement. wild and crazy fun. its what i do.

Detroit rocks!

The electronic music festival was more fun than a barrel of monkeys! i don't fully understand that expression really, seems like a barrel of monkeys, if anything, would be most everything but fun. and also really stinky. However, not even the thought of that can detract from the happy vibe i am still riding on from the past weekend. Benny Benassi ( www.myspace.com/benassi ) played on sunday night at 8, here he is in all his cute genius rocking my pants off, or um, something like that. Whoever set him up in one of the smallest event areas was a big ol' nut cake, because people packed in there like nobodies business, i am in there in the general vicinity of my well placed pink arrow in the next pic, probably on my tippy toes busily squealing or something equally as dignified.
On saturday i got to see the Egyptian lover himself. Pelvic gyrating was involved on his part, and more squealing was once again involved on my part. he sang freakaholic. holy holy moly. if you care to see more of his sexy sexiness (you know you want to) www.myspace.com/therealegyptianlover
During one of his songs he walked up into the audience... he eventually stood about 5 feet from me and sang, but in this pic he is just on his way in, i am probably about 6 yards in the direction of my green arrow of awesomeness. at that exact moment i am probably busing myself trying hard not to have a stroke. though if i did stroke out, i don't think anyone would have noticed, thinking i was just a really spastic dancer or something. which i am, but thats beside the point.
Another cool thing on saturday was getting a chance to see Moby. i put in the wrong pic here without my arrow, but i was up on the balcony right above the sign..ish. somewhere in there amidst the throbbing masses. and you know how i love the throbbing masses, or, wait, what? I had so much fun, and by the looks of this blog, i also managed to killed several important brain cells removing the ability to articulate myself any better than saying it was awesome about 40 times. but, no really, really, it was awesome.

awesomely awesome awesomeness

We had a garage sale! Granted, it was several weeks ago, but whatever, i've been too busy running around in circles and freaking out about school to blog. Anyway let me tell you, this was the most awesome garage sale in the whole world! It was comprised of crap that my mom had hoarded away through out the basement cleaning process. 99% of which i would have chucked, and/or tried to chuck in the first place. It was bad enough that i was on the verge of being embarrassed to be seen outside in association with this junk. I thought of disguising myself in some neon leg warmers, golf hat and Una bomber beard kit (never leave home without it), but as it turns out no one came to the sale, so i had no one to hide from.

The day was overcast, with rain predicted. i think we had a total of 6 shoppers, and 3 buyers, netting a total of 2.25$. Then it rained, and mom cracked, and decided the sale was over after a mere hour and a half. we ended up in the hole 1.25$ being we had to shell out 3.50$ to join the block sale in the first place. And so, all the crap was soon hauled to the salvation army in a last ditch attempt to prevent it from being trashed. So, overall, this garage sale totally rocked my world. But at least it got a lot of stupid crap out of the basement, one more step toward my basements enlightenment and ultimate bliss. Or something.

The classic pirate

Holly, avert your eyes! Never fear, its a double, your dreams of completing your NKOTB collection can still be realized, i wont desecrate (m)any more.
There isn't much i wont do in order to escape writing my paper, though i admit, i am running out of good procrastination helpers, this is pretty much the bottom of the barrel.

oh, oh no.

Sometimes digging in your basement can have dire consequences. like finding that for some unknown reason you have saved a box full of New Kids on the Block cards. oh. In a pathetic fit of peer pressure, my 6th grade self succumbed to the gnarly teen bop of NKOTB. and for some even more pathetic reason, my 29 year old self has unearthed, and not yet thrown away, a hoard of new kids collectors cards. i feel that an e-gads is in order, as well as a swift kick to my cerebellum, and a tall glass of cheap cooking wine. For in my slightly more mature days, those are the only things that keep my from choking on my tongue when i remember my NKOTB days.
So, i find myself feeling somewhat conflicted. while my first reaction to finding the cards is to draw mustaches on them and then douse them in lighter fluid, i have somehow resisted thus far. i think it is perhaps in memory of my 6th grade self, and how much she kind-a-sort-a like the new kids. after all, they are a symbolic remnant of my sad and peer pressured awkward adolescence. though i have resisted long enough, the time has come! tonight the moustaches begin. . .

Sally

Quite mysteriously, a rather hairy looking bottle of holy oil has appeared in our basement. should i take this as a good sign? or as i am more prone to doing, a rather ominous sign of weirdness? though maybe i am making too big of a deal out of this find. maybe everybody just happens to have mysteriously appearing bottles of holy oil that flit about their basements, you know, just in case they have to exorcise their demon possessed sock puppet named sally. or you know, for whatever. word up sally!

The basement mourns.

Alas my faithful chickens, it is time we part company and go our separate ways. It is indeed a sad day, though i shall always remember you and your love of corn and malt liquor.

let there be cake!

I have approximately 1,211 papers to write, the house is a wreck, my child is off somewhere eating crayons and trying to cram his stuffed elmo down the heating vent, and what do i do? clean the basement. i found this lovely cake stand, and it looked so terribly lonely. and as everyone knows lonely cake stands are sacrilegious and are considered by the Pope to be a modern day sin. so, in light of having nothing better to do, and because i am a God fearing woman, i baked the yummiest cake in the world to keep the cake stand company. at 9:30 at night. because that's how i roll.

Benny Benassi + Egyptian Lover = Me Peeing My Pants

Benny Benassi is coming to detroit for the techno fest! http://www.demf.com/ The Egyptian Lover is also coming for the festival. dude. i am so excited that the left hemisphere of my brain could theoretically explode with joy and/or a massive hemorrhage do to my excessively excited blood pressure. now seriously, it doesn't get any better than that. unless it involves pudding.

chock-a-block!

I almost cleaned my basement today. i give myself credit for seriously considering it, but eventually i decided to read this book instead.

Nothing says good times like a book chock-a-block full of serial killer hi-jinks, let me tell you! i've laughed, i've cried, i've engorged my spleen. It's a rollicking good time, even better than doing my laundry (or cleaning the basement...) truly a dream come true! This book can do many things, including making me forget enough of my day to get to sleep without drinking mouthwash, but unfortunately, it kept me away from cleaning my poor neglected basement for one more day. The bastard.

mmm ping pong

Basement update! we are finally down to having just one ping-pong table in our basement. yes, we actually had two down there, because apparently we really really love us some ping-pong, we are ping-pong fanatics, ping-pong-aholics even. or not. we used to play, (badly), but recently the stacks of crap piled three feet deep on the tables kind of got in the way. they do that. so last night we cleared one completely off and chucked it. well, we chucked it after dragging it up the stairs, bumping a hole in the ceiling with it, and hefting it out the door and through the garage. It was so much fun i almost peed my pants.

Do i think about pudding too much?

I think i may have to change the name of my blog, because cleaning anything, especially my basement, is the furthest thing from my mind right now. What is on my mind, you ask? My son, because 2 year olds refuse to be off your mind for longer than approximately 3 seconds, especially when there are cookies involved. School, because it is sucking the life out of me. And pudding, um, because it is delicious. The way things are going now, my basement could have evaporated for all i know, (as they are known to do from time to time in order to escape religious persecution). But i still cling to the hope that one day my crazy mutant professors will stop hounding me for my life blood, and i will once again be free to roam amidst the majestic glory that is my basement. It's always good to have something to look forward to. Even if it is really pathetic.

laundry tubs unite!

Ok. i'm still not cleaning. but now i have a good excuse for not cleaning, which makes all the difference in the world. in my head at least. A few days ago our basement laundry tub decided that it had been neglected long enough, and so in its final act of protest, decided to allow all the water in its u-bend to dry up. This seeming innocent act of rebellion allowed sewer gas into our home, and so the stank began. in our valiant efforts to air out this horrible stink of all stanks, our basement window was opened. and it hasn't been closed since, and its freezing! so, unless i decide to don a parka and some nice woolly mittens in order to clean, there will be no cleaning in basement-ville. its a tragedy of great proportions. well, i suppose i could force myself to go down there and close the window... nah. excuses are nice.

hoo doggie!

Once again, nothing highly exciting has been happening in my basement, unless you count the uninhibited reproduction of assorted creepies and crawlies as exciting. in that case it has been a rip-roaring good time down there. i previously had made enough headway so that i can study down there, as yummy as that may sound, but i think its so cold my brain freezes up. its not working out quite as i had imagined it, but its not so bad. school is eating up a good deal of my time, and the rest, well, i just dont feel inspired to clean. who knew you had to be inspired to clean? perhaps its just an excuse not to clean because i am lazy, but until i know for sure, i think i'll sit there on the couch and wait for the muse of basement cleaning to come inspire me. i do wonder what such a muse would look like, for some reason i picture oscar the grouches friend grouchetta emerging mysteriously from the depth of the junk piles, and proceeding to yell at me. that would be awesome.

sadly, my brain has deserted me.

i have no pictures for you of stupid stuff from my basement, nor do i even have tales of the cleaning projects of epic proportion. what i do have is a headache, blurry memories of school and babysitting, and a strange desire to clean the refrigerator with a toothbrush. which in combination lead to conversations such as these:

1.
(me, cooking dinner) hey mom, do we have one of those thing-a-ma-jigs? i want to thing-a-ma-jig the meat..

(mom, sitting at the computer) of course! its in one of those drawers there.

2.
(me sitting in the passengers seat) hey we're by those peoples house aren't we, those whats-its-faces people..

(mom, driving) the whos?

(me) you know, those people you baked that thing for that one time.

(mom) oh yeah! the whatsitsdiddles. they live right down there somewhere.

i don't know what more disturbing. the fact that my mom understands what the crap i am talking about? or that she talks the same way. egads, what is this what-ya-call-it coming to?

cookies...

I have recently started a new semester at school, i am currently enrolled in two community colleges, and one university. all of this means what? stress baking. and also unfortunately, stress eating. eventually this will turn into stress cleaning, and i will get back to cleaning the basement. maybe. if i can fit through the doorway by then.

Goggle update!

And now, as requested, it is time once again for my moderately non-interesting german neighbor update. after much anticipation, it turns of that walt does not wear his multi-purpose goggles of love for snow shoveling, as i had previously hypothesized that he might. Here we see our fine specimen shoveling the back patio. because as we all know it is of great importance that the patio be clear, in case an emergency sub-zero picnic must occur. maybe then he'll wear his goggles. that would be awesome.

stamp hoarders R' us

I must say, this is the weirdest stamp i have seen in a while. my grandmas stamp collection has taken on a life of its own in our basement, and these little beauties are just a small sample of the weirdness. I wasn't expecting to find anything like this down there, but why should i be surprised? who knew my sweet little old grandma was a seemingly obsessive compulsive stamp hoarder? and is it wrong that i seriously just want to use them to mail all my letters?