The classic pirate

Holly, avert your eyes! Never fear, its a double, your dreams of completing your NKOTB collection can still be realized, i wont desecrate (m)any more.
There isn't much i wont do in order to escape writing my paper, though i admit, i am running out of good procrastination helpers, this is pretty much the bottom of the barrel.

oh, oh no.

Sometimes digging in your basement can have dire consequences. like finding that for some unknown reason you have saved a box full of New Kids on the Block cards. oh. In a pathetic fit of peer pressure, my 6th grade self succumbed to the gnarly teen bop of NKOTB. and for some even more pathetic reason, my 29 year old self has unearthed, and not yet thrown away, a hoard of new kids collectors cards. i feel that an e-gads is in order, as well as a swift kick to my cerebellum, and a tall glass of cheap cooking wine. For in my slightly more mature days, those are the only things that keep my from choking on my tongue when i remember my NKOTB days.
So, i find myself feeling somewhat conflicted. while my first reaction to finding the cards is to draw mustaches on them and then douse them in lighter fluid, i have somehow resisted thus far. i think it is perhaps in memory of my 6th grade self, and how much she kind-a-sort-a like the new kids. after all, they are a symbolic remnant of my sad and peer pressured awkward adolescence. though i have resisted long enough, the time has come! tonight the moustaches begin. . .

Sally

Quite mysteriously, a rather hairy looking bottle of holy oil has appeared in our basement. should i take this as a good sign? or as i am more prone to doing, a rather ominous sign of weirdness? though maybe i am making too big of a deal out of this find. maybe everybody just happens to have mysteriously appearing bottles of holy oil that flit about their basements, you know, just in case they have to exorcise their demon possessed sock puppet named sally. or you know, for whatever. word up sally!

The basement mourns.

Alas my faithful chickens, it is time we part company and go our separate ways. It is indeed a sad day, though i shall always remember you and your love of corn and malt liquor.

let there be cake!

I have approximately 1,211 papers to write, the house is a wreck, my child is off somewhere eating crayons and trying to cram his stuffed elmo down the heating vent, and what do i do? clean the basement. i found this lovely cake stand, and it looked so terribly lonely. and as everyone knows lonely cake stands are sacrilegious and are considered by the Pope to be a modern day sin. so, in light of having nothing better to do, and because i am a God fearing woman, i baked the yummiest cake in the world to keep the cake stand company. at 9:30 at night. because that's how i roll.

Benny Benassi + Egyptian Lover = Me Peeing My Pants

Benny Benassi is coming to detroit for the techno fest! http://www.demf.com/ The Egyptian Lover is also coming for the festival. dude. i am so excited that the left hemisphere of my brain could theoretically explode with joy and/or a massive hemorrhage do to my excessively excited blood pressure. now seriously, it doesn't get any better than that. unless it involves pudding.