Sunday, December 2, 2007
Bernz O Matic!
We have a bernz o matic master torch! we have a bernz o matic master torch? why? well, according to the "101" uses booklet, which incidentally only lists 25 uses, we have this master torch to do such things as melt ice off of our steps, (because apparently my neighbors don't already think we are crazy enough as it is,) burn leaves, burn tent worms, and to use in my laboratory. how did they know i have a laboratory? but the list left off the number one use that comes to mind when i think fondly of our adorable bernz o matic torch, that being, accidentally burning down the house because we have a bazillion-dy year old moderately unstable freaking propane tank in our freaking basement. but that would make the list 102 (aka 26) uses for your fiery-death-o-matic-torch, and that just wouldn't be as catchy as 101 uses. and after all, where else are you supposed to store your rusty canister o' flammable materials that you are never going to use because its old and scary, right? i mean really. how could i have questioned it? 
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3 comments:
Is it weird that I dont question why you have the stuff that you do but, rather why the hell did your parents bother moving it when they moved? And do you throw any of this stuff out or does it just go in a big tote for you to go through years from now and wonder why you still hve this kind of stuff?
yes. its weird.
i asked about our lovely torch, you know, and why the hell do we have it, and it seems that it is from the previous owners. if i knew where they lived i would totally leave it on their porch at 3 in the morning, along with a white rat and a plastic ostrich.
Well of course you would leave it on their porch, that would be the logical thing to do. Im wondering if your mom would say that the previous owners also left a rusted can of almond paste in the cupboard for you to put on someones porch who I used to work with who is no longer my friend.
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